


Out Loud

by Mikasa361



Category: Tomb Raider (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Jesus why do I do this to myself?, One Shot, Sadness, Tomb Raider legend timeline, poor babies, shut up Mika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 19:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12589420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikasa361/pseuds/Mikasa361
Summary: Lyrics from the song "Out Loud" by Gabbie Hanna.At the time of Alister's death, a whirlwind of emotions consumes Lara. It brings back old memories that- dammit- perhaps should never have been brought back at all.Oh hey, I have a server for writing and stuff.Check it out right here!Come for writing tips- or bring some of your own! Either way, come visit that little snake with the top hat!





	Out Loud

_I still taste your presence-  
Once sweet, but it's turned sour._

Seeing his lifeless body in her arms is the only thing that keeps Lara in reality. She curses herself for being unable to save her dear friend, her colleague, her… _No. it doesn't matter. What happened in the past won't ever happen again. That bitch made sure of that._ Lara quickly heaves him up over her shoulder and gets moving. _If he has any chance of living, I've got to get out of here._

Memories of the two start to race through her mind, growing ever the more painful as they surface.

—

It was one book. That's all it took to seal a friendship. But before then, Lara was searching through the Oxford library to gather some information on some ancient ruins she had heard of. She had just found a very fascinating book on the Mayan civilizations that just _might_ have had to do with her search when a weight collided with her, along with a very audible cry of surprise. Lara found herself between said weight and the ground.

“Yeah, okay Fletcher, that theory of yours is utter bullshit. Talk to me when you come up with something that makes _sense_.” Lara heard footsteps run out of the library. In annoyance, she attempted to slide out from the obviously-warm pressure above her. However, this pressure lifted on its own. When she rolled on her back to hop back up, she noticed a very meek looking man adjusting his clothing in glasses. He looked at her in dismay, evidently not expecting to collide with another person in that manner. Something about him gave her a very Beatles vibe, from the way he dressed. _Interesting._

“T-terribly sorry, miss! I just… Oh, Henry was just trying to embarrass me, as if this were still grade school. I'm truly sorry.” Lara finally got up and dusted herself off. 

“It's quite alright. Although quite honestly, that man was being terribly immature, and I'd like to give him a piece of my mind if I do see him.” She noticed a stack of books on the ground next to the man, all about different civilizations and myths. Lara raises an eyebrow. “Historian?” 

“Yes! Actually, my thesis is on how everything in history is connected. ...U-unfortunately it's been quite difficult to draw any tangible boundaries, as you can probably guess- Or at least I'd hope—”

“Oh, I understand.” Some light bulbs went off in Lara’s mind. _I wonder if he would be interested in working with me, then?_ “After all, there are many different mythologies of different cultures that somehow have their parallels. It's hard to say that it's simply coincidence. Yet as you've pointed out, simply drawing boundaries is difficult for a thesis. I wish you luck with that.”

“T-thank you…?” Lara nodded. She then held her hand out.

“Pardon me, my name is Lara Croft.” A look of shock appeared across the man’s bright cerulean eyes. He looked more apologetic than ever, knowing who the woman he just smacked to was. 

“O-oh my! L-Lady Croft---”

“It's quite alright. I understand. Now, who may you be?”

“O-of course! My name is Alister Fletcher. I'm a doctoral student here, I've already told you the rest.” Lara smiled and nodded.

“It is a pleasure. Now, I'd like to propose an offer. I'd like you to come work with me as a research assistant. With all the work I've been doing, it would be nice to have an extra hand. Of course, you wouldn't necessarily be going to all the dangerous places I go to, but you would be able to provide some historical background, and help me piece things together when I'm at a site. You would also be able to gather some information, which may be good for your own doctoral work. And, if it motivates you so, I'd be willing to pay a fair amount.” Alister blinked, astonished that _the_ Lara Croft was offering him a job. _A job._ Sure, she gathered a bit of a bad reputation- or was that her father? - but he didn't mind this at all. In fact, there was a very real chance that she wasn't bloody mad, that maybe there were things that people just didn't quite understand. He could get _paid_ for doing research? Now that beat all of his years at Oxford thus far- having to _pay_ to do his research on a doctorate that was near impossible to receive. 

“I'll do it.” Alister grinned at her. “It will be an honor and a pleasure to work with you.” He took her hand and shook it. 

Thus sealed a pleasant six years- in which plenty of memories were made, many of which would come back and leave more damage than a raging storm.

—

_Tried to shake your indifference-  
But it's too late now._

Maybe it was the casual bumps into each other in the library. Perhaps it was the casual banter between the two whilst Lara was searching for the pieces of Excalibur. Or maybe, perhaps, it was the soft way in which he spoke to her when they were alone by the fireplace, when Winston was making tea and Zip was holed up in the tech room- leaving the two Brits alone with their books. But Lara had begun to see things in Alister that she was not sure she had noticed before- à la any cliché romance novel known to man. 

But although the romance novels she had read when nobody was watching were absolute rubbish, there were some truths she would notice when she read through them again. _Oh hell, to think I would develop feelings for someone._

She had first noticed these feelings when she felt a tingle run up her spine after accidentally walking in on him in the shower. In the rather awkward encounter (and full view shot), Lara had quickly escorted herself out of the room. It was only after she was against the wall in the music room that she noticed the raised hairs on her arms. _Oh dear Lord, she had thought to herself, why the bloody hell is that happening?_ She wishes to this day that she had an answer right away, before she could crush it sooner. 

What made those feelings truly blossom was one day when she saw Alister at work in one of the books he brought with him to the Manor. His left hand was hard at work, marking inconsistencies or things that simply didn't make sense. But that wasn't it. What did her in was the gleam in his eyes as he worked. The genuine enjoyment of what he was doing was simply enticing. Lara couldn't imagine nitpicking like so- she was always more of a go-out-there-and-see-for-yourself kind of girl, and would find plenty of issues with her history lessons at school. 

Those eyes were gorgeous, the color of the sea after a harsh storm. Hidden by his fawn-colored locks, they were the brightest things on his face. Lara quietly leaned on the desk to take a look at the vivid red ink on the pages of the book. _Goodness, his handwriting is quite messy. I'm glad he types most of his documents- it would be impossible to read otherwise._ But yet, she was intrigued by how quickly his hand moved. Lara always wrote a little bit slowly, so as to make her writing legible at the very least. She was shocked that his teachers were able to read his work- unless he _did_ type most of his papers. Typewriters were a thing, albeit much more inconvenient than computers. Oh, one typing mistake would have been an annoyance. 

Then there was the banter itself. Lara always noticed a content feeling whenever she and Alister had a conversation- the more witty remarks the better. It was one of her favorite things to do when she had some time at home. _Hm, I wonder why._

She didn't realize that she wouldn't be the one making the first move. Their first kiss was quiet, discreet, within the hedges of the garden, far from anybody's eyes and ears.

—

_I hear you in the quiet-  
I see you when I'm in the dark._

Keeping their relationship under wraps was quite simple, really. They had wanted to wait to see how things went before they could even _think_ of telling anyone, or hell- thinking about a _future_ together. And yet, there was a sort of thrill that the two enjoyed when they were together because of it. The stolen kisses, the knowing glances, the hushed sounds of lovemaking… Months of it were well worth it. 

And yet, they still waited. 

—

_You just couldn't fight for this-  
But it's not your fault._

The only two people Lara told were Zip and Winston. It was after the Mediterranean trip, before she had left for Thailand. Of course Winston showed his support, but Zip was rather unsure. 

“Are you sure you wanna do that?” He asked, “he's your colleague. Isn't that odd?”

“I’m more than aware, Zip. I'm aware of the consequences if things go awry as well. But I trust Alister, and we both trust that even if things don't work out, we can still at least maintain a civil working relationship. Please Zip, trust that we know what we’re doing.” Zip shrugged.

“I'm still not sure, but if you say so.” 

Lara then walked up to Alister before she got in the car to go to the airport. Alister gave her one more kiss before she slipped in. 

“Be careful, Lara.”

“I will.”

“I love you.” Lara paused.

“I love you too. I'll see you when I pull up the videocam.” 

“I'll see you then.” And with that, Lara slipped in the car and left.

—

_Say what you mean out loud-  
Drowning in silence, when I'm lost in the crowd._

These memories hurt all the more when Winston searched for a pulse. Lara had her hopes… But they are crushed when he looks up and shakes his head. _He's gone._ Zip looks at Lara, searching for answers. 

“What the hell _was_ that thing?” Lara paces, grabbing a hold of her situation. _Oh, do I know what this thing was…_

“I've only seen something like it once before- a doppelgänger that Natla sent after me years ago, but that one didn't have a mind of its own.” Winston looks over at Zip in complete astonishment.

“But how could Natla have sent it if she's Amanda’s prisoner?” Lara wants to scream. But she keeps her level head, knowing an outburst can only aggravate the situation.

“They're a team of sorts now. Amanda and Natla, her pet Atlantean God.” Lara’s voice drops with venom. _And they will both suffer, if I have anything to do with it. Zip is in disbelief._

“What are we going to do?” He approaches her, hoping for the best possible answer- probably having to do with revenge. _Oh, revenge will be served._

“After I deal with the authorities, I'm going to Southern Mexico to retrieve Thor’s belt.” _And give a little_ gift _to an old friend._ Zip is shocked and dismayed, and even angered by Lara’s words. 

“What?! Alister’s _dead_! And…” He pauses. “It’s just… Business as usual?!” If Lara were a different person, she would have seen it as a provocation. But she doesn't. Instead, she replies bluntly,

“I need Thor’s belt to get his hammer, and I need the hammer to _kill a god_.” Lara turns away and heads off, leaving the scene. _I wish I could go and clear my head, but I've much to deal with first. Alister, I hope you can forgive me. I failed you._

—

_‘Cause every sweet thing, you never speak-  
It's deafening, never knowing what could be._

Lara has to leave soon, so her words must be quick but meaningful. She looks around- Alister has more family than she let on. But she does recognize some faces- his parents, of course, his elder brother William, and his twin Alison- oh, Alison. Poor woman has to deal with enough- among her ex being unable to pay child support, the children, and now _this…_ Lara hopes for the better for this family. Losing someone so precious is always a painful event- but the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher have to bury their son? Lara’s heart hurts to think about it. She then turns to the hole in the ground and looks down at the coffin. Alison opted to have the casket closed, which turned out for the better indeed.

“Alister, I'm so, so sorry. Truly. I wish I had been able to stop the bullet in time…” Her voice goes down to a whisper. “I love you, Alister. I used to imagine a future together… But I'll never know what a future with you could hold. I've failed you. But I will make sure Natla gets what's hers. You have more than my word. Goodbye, Alister. My dearest, truest friend.” She drops her flower into the grave, and it floats almost too slowly onto the polished wood of the coffin. 

That flower has more weight on her heart now than it did in her hand. This is reality, she can never know what could have been. All she can focus on now is the present- so she discreetly exits their cemetery and makes her way to the car. A single tear rolls down her cheek when she starts the engine, and she almost floors it out of there. 

_I promise, Alister._

—

_Wish I could show you how-  
But you're just a ghost now._

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY BUT IF YOU UNDERSTAND MY FEELS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT THIS HURT TO WRITE. I'll have some cutesy stuff eventually though- keep on the lookout! :D
> 
> Yes, I did use dialogue straight from the game at one point, but it makes sense so ???
> 
> Just saying, I'll take the Legend timeline over any of the other TR timelines any day- although the Original timeline was what I recall seeing my dad play on the computer. I'm not very old, I swear.


End file.
